


The Science Experiment

by Sandersedge



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, For Science!, Hand Jobs, Masturbation, One Shot, Science Experiments, Sexual Inexperience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:14:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandersedge/pseuds/Sandersedge
Summary: Sandy needs help with a science experiment she's working on and SpongeBob is the perfect test subject. However, it involves extracting some genetic material for SpongeBob and he's not really sure how to do it, so Sandy lends a helping hand.
Relationships: Sandy Cheeks/SpongeBob SquarePants
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Science Experiment

“Heya SquarePants,” the Texas twang voice said into the phone. “I need yer help with one of my experiments if ya don’t mind.”

“Sure Sandy,” SpongeBob replied. “I’d be happy to help. Do I need to bring anything?”

“Nah,” Sandy said. “Just come on over whenever ya get a chance.”

“See you soon,” SpongeBob hung up the phone. 

SpongeBob had no idea what Sandy needed, but he was always willing to help her out in any way that he could. Sometimes the experiments would go a little wrong, but Sandy was always there to fix it and make sure he was alright. 

As he walked towards the tree dome, SpongeBob felt in an upbeat mood. He’d had a crush on Sandy since she’d moved to Bikini Bottom and always liked getting alone time with her. He was still far too nervous to ever ask her out, even though he desperately wanted too. Still being able to spend time with her like this was better than nothing. 

Once he arrived at the habitat, he entered the airlock and put on his water helmet, then knocked on the door. Soon the water drained and Sandy greeted him with a hug. 

“Thanks for coming over,” Sandy smiled. 

“No problem Sandy,” SpongeBob replied. “So what is it that you need me to do?”

“How about ya come in for a second,” Sandy suddenly felt nervous to tell SpongeBob what she needed help with exactly. 

The two headed over to the picnic table and had a seat. Sandy pulled out a notebook that had all sorts of stuff scribbled over it and flipped through the pages before landing on the one she was looking for. 

“First off,” Sandy took a deep breath. “Don’t feel weird or get mad about this, ya hear? If ya feel uncomfortable, tell me and we don’t have to do this.” 

“Ok?” SpongeBob was confused. “I’ll tell you.”

“Good,” Sandy let out a sigh. “First I need to ask you a few questions and record your responses.”

“Sure thing,” SpongeBob smiled ready to help. 

“Are you, or have you ever been, sexually active?” Sandy read the question doing her best to sound professional.   
“Wait, what?” SpongeBob gulped. This was already too much for him but he knew he had to get him mind right because he wanted to help Sandy out after all. 

“Are ya a virgin?” Sandy reiterated the question in a simpler way. “Ya know, have ya every mated with someone?”

“No I’m a virgin,” SpongeBob looked down at the table feeling ashamed. “I haven’t ever really kissed anyone before either...well not all romantically anyway.” 

“Alright,” Sandy wrote the response down. “Next, do you consider yourself heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or something else?” 

“Uhhhh?” SpongeBob really wasn’t sure what those words meant. “I like girls if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Hetrosexual then,” Sandy’s pen moved across the page. “Do you masturbate, and if so how frequently?” 

“Do I what?” Once again, SpongeBob had no idea what she was asking. 

“Ya know,” Sandy suppressed a giggle. “Do you touch yourself? Give yourself an orgasm? Uhh...beat the spongy meat?” 

“No I don’t think so,” SpongeBob put his finger up to his mouth as he was lost in thought. “I mean I touch myself, but I’m not made of meat and certainly don’t beat myself. I’m also an organism I think, that’s what living creatures are right?”

“SquarePants,” Sandy slapped her face with her paw. “Do you ever have dreams or thoughts about something sexy then proceed to do something to make you feel good?” 

“Oh,” SpongeBob turned bright red. “Well I don’t really do that, I just sort of have dreams and wake up all sticky sometimes.” 

“Alright,” Sandy jotted that down. “We can probably skip these, sorry that was kind of embarrassing. The next part might be a little weird too, so please tell me if you want me to stop.

“O-Ok,” SpongeBob said nervously. 

“Let’s go into the lab,” Sandy stood up and escorted her friend into her workspace. “Now if you don’t mind, can you please take off your clothes? I need to examine you and take some measurements.” 

“I guess,” SpongeBob felt a hot flash shoot through him. Sandy had seen him naked before, but never this intimately. Still, not wanting to disappoint her, he slipped off his clothes and placed them neatly in a pile. 

“Alright,” Sandy tried to remain professional as she could since this next part was going to get personal. “I need to measure your mating organ...wait, where is your mating organ exactly?”

“What do you mean?” SpongeBob furrowed his brow. 

“Ya know,” Sandy tried to think of the right words. “Your penis?”

“My what?” SpongeBob felt worried he was missing something now. 

“Come to think of it,” Sandy was lost in thought. “I don’t think the book explained this very well. SpongeBob do you know how your body works?”

“Sort of,” he replied, still worried he was missing something. “What do you need to know?”

“I assume y’all had sex ed in school,” Sandy said. “How does the whole process work?” 

“You see,” while scared, SpongeBob felt a certain sense of pride that he knew something Sandy didn’t. “Sponges can be both boys and girls. They just choose how they want to live. Sponges seeks out other boy or girl sponges depending on what they like. Once the two of them are together and want a baby sponge, they join together and two weeks later a new sponge is born.” 

“Ok...so how do they join together then?” Sandy should’ve known that SpongeBob would gloss over the part she was most interested in. 

“They just sort of come together,” SpongeBob shrugged his shoulders. 

“I mean does one sponge stick something inside the other sponge?” Sandy asked. “And I assume there’s a hole...err pore that you need to use?” 

“The only pore that sponges have for anything like that is the oscula,” SpongeBob blushed with embarrassment. “As for sticking something inside? Maybe? I honestly don’t know Sandy, I’m sorry.” 

“So I know what an oscula is,” Sandy said. “But where exactly is it?”

“Between my legs,” SpongeBob sheepishly pointed his finger down. 

“Can I see it?” Sandy asked. 

“No!” SpongeBob shrieked. “That’s a private place Sandy! No one is supposed to see or touch it.”

“Sorry SpongeBob,” Sandy felt bad for crossing the line. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just all a part of the study I’m doing.” 

“Well I guess,” SpongeBob let out a sigh. “I guess if you need to see it for science, I can show you. But it’s...uhhh kind of weird looking.” 

“Are you sure?” Sandy wanted to see it, but at the same time SpongeBob was her best friend and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

“Ya,” SpongeBob laid on the floor and picked up his legs. Then using his finger, he felt around and finally landed on his special pore. “Here it is, this little guy. It’s weird so don’t be too judgy about it.” 

“It’s beautiful,” Sandy said under her breath. 

“What was that Sandy?” SpongeBob asked. “I didn’t catch that.”

“Oh...uhhh,” Sandy didn’t think she’d said that out loud. “Nothing, sorry just taking some notes is all. You can get up now.” 

SpongeBob stood up feeling incredibly shy. The only person to have ever seen that side of him before was his doctor and presumably his mom when she used to change his diapers. 

“Ok so I guess I better tell y’all what I need,” Sandy pulled herself together. “I’m doing genetic sequencing of sea critters and I need some genetic material to do it. So, I...ummm...need some of your semen SpongeBob. To get the best sample I needed someone who was preferably not sexually active and honestly you’re like the best candidate for this study.”

“My semen?” SpongeBob pointed at himself. “I mean I’m in the sea and I am a man so what do you need.”

“SpongeBob,” Sandy rolled her eyes. “No you know when you wake up all sticky, that’s from y’all’s semen. I need a sample of that. Preferably enough to fill this here cup.” 

“But I don’t know how to get it out of me though,” SpongeBob looked down at his feet. “Sorry Sandy maybe I’m not the right sponge for the job.” 

“SpongeBob, I don’t know any other sponges,” Sandy said. “Y’all are it.” 

“Oh,” SpongeBob really didn’t want to disappoint her. “So how do I get the semen out of me then? Do you need to poke a hole in me or something?”

“No you need to,” Sandy didn’t know how to phrase this. “You need to masturbate, then collect what comes out. I’ll leave ya be so you can have some alone time.” 

“But I don’t know how to masturbate,” SpongeBob felt like he needed to cry. 

“Hang on just a sec,” Sandy held up a finger and then flipped through some books. “There is one way but y’all ain’t going to like it. It’s one of the recommended ways in this here book.”

“Ok so what do I need to do?” SpongeBob was ready to help.

“I need to,” Sandy felt herself blush. “Or well you need to...ummm...how do I put this? Milk yourself.”

“I need to what?” SpongeBob knew he didn’t have any milk in him. 

“You need to put your hand up you...erm oscula,” Sandy had a knot in her stomach. “Then y’all need to press on the interior wall until you feel a sensation. Y’all keep doing that until your semen starts to flow.” 

“Neptune no!” SpongeBob gagged at the thought of what Sandy was asking him to do. 

“I said y’all weren’t going to like it,” Sandy sighed. “Sorry SpongeBob, this was a bad idea, I feel terrible.” 

“No Sandy,” SpongeBob’s lip quivered, he hated making his best friend and secret crush feel anything but happy. “Sorry, it was just a bit of a shock is all, I can try it though if it’ll help.”

“No SpongeBob,” Sandy was brushing away tears now too. “I’ve embarrassed you enough for one day.” 

“Sandy,” SpongeBob reached out and grabbed Sandy’s paws with his hands. “Look you’re my best friend, even more of a best friend than Patrick. I want to help you since you’ve always helped me. Let me try, ok?”

“It’s totally up to you,” Sandy sniffled. “If y’all want to walk out that door and never talk to me, I understand. If y’all just want to go watch some TV, we can. Or if y’all want to try it, then I’ll be grateful, but I wantcha to do it only if y’all want too.” 

“Let’s do this,” SpongeBob took a deep breath. “So go over this again for me.”

“Thank you,” Sandy gave SpongeBob a genuine smile of gratitude. “Y’all need to take your hand and put it in your oscula, a finger probably will work too since it’s so small.”

“Ok like this?” SpongeBob reached between his legs and fiddled around before placing a finger at his entrance. He then exhaled long and slow, before sliding the finger inside. He bit down on his lip a bit since the sensation was so strange, but it felt weirdly good. 

“O-ok,” SpongeBob sounded like he was somewhere between pleasure and pain. “N-now what?”

“Y’all just move your finger against the inside wall,” Sandy was reading from her experiment book. “You should feel a slight tingling sensation when you’re in the right spot. Once that happens you just wiggled your finger until you feel your ejaculation building.”

SpongeBob did as Sandy instructed and began moving his finger around. It certainly felt good, but there wasn’t a tingling sensation like Sandy had described. He kept at it for several more minutes though before finally removing his hand. 

“It’s not working,” SpongeBob said in frustration. “Why am I broken?”

“Y’all ain’t broken,” Sandy placed her hand on the sponge. “Y’all never done this before, it probably takes some practice is all.” 

“Do you want to try?” SpongeBob asked Sandy.

“W-what?” Sandy nearly choked on her own tongue. Of course she wanted to try, she wanted to do all sorts of things to him. However, judging by the tone in SpongeBob’s voice, he was just asking an innocent question instead of actually trying to act sexual in any way. 

“I said do you want to try?” SpongeBob asked again. “I think it’s the angle maybe?” 

“I…” Sandy didn’t know how to respond. “I don’t think that’s a good idea SpongeBob.” 

“Ok, just a thought,” SpongeBob scratched his head trying to come up with other solutions. “Does the book say anything else?”

“Well all the other methods involve mating,” Sandy blushed. “And since we ain’t got another sponge around here, that’s probably not going to work.”

“Tartar sauce,” SpongeBob said. “Well let me try it again?”

For the next twenty minutes, SpongeBob tried over and over again to hit the right spot and achieve orgasm. It was a fruitless effort though since he just wasn’t getting to the right spot to make it happen. 

“Sorry Sandy,” SpongeBob said, removing his hand for the last time. “Looks like I can’t do it.”

“It’s ok SpongeBob,” Sandy said. “Thanks for being a good sport about all this.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to try?” SpongeBob asked one last time. “If we work together we can probably get it.” 

“Well…” Sandy’s thoughts trailed off. “If you’re OK with it, then sure, I’ll give it a try. But y’all got to promise me one thing SquarePants. This is a one time thing.”

“Ok?” SpongeBob didn’t know what she meant by that. 

“Go on and get on your hands and knees,” Sandy instructed, thinking it would allow her to get the best angle. 

SpongeBob did as he was told and kept his legs spread apart to allow Sandy the perfect access to his oscula. Sandy looked around the room and grabbed a pair of gloves before snapping them on. She then grabbed some gel that would function well enough as lube. 

“Y’all ready?” Sandy said. “Tell me if something hurts.”

SpongeBob nodded and Sandy began to slowly insert her finger into the sponge’s opening. As she worked her way in, SpongeBob was grunting and moaning. She hadn’t really expected that and it was making the whole process feel dirty...not that she was complaining. 

“What are y’all feeling?” Sandy asked.

“G-good,” SpongeBob moaned. 

It wasn’t what Sandy was looking for, but she knew how he must be feeling. 

“Ok,” Sandy said. “I’m going to start, alright?”

“Y-yes,” another grunt from the sponge. 

Sandy knew that when she fingered herself, small circles often felt the best. Not knowing what may or may not feel good for SpongeBob she figured she’d just start there. Ever so slowly she started tracing circles on the smooth, inside walls of SpongeBob’s oscula.

As she did this, SpongeBob let out a long, deep moan and reared his head back. She stifled a giggle and figured he must be enjoying it. 

“Are you ok?” Sandy asked. 

“K-ke-keep going,” SpongeBob was having a hard time talking. His body was feeling sensations it never had before and he didn’t know how to react. He certainly didn’t want it to stop, but at the same time it was a bit scary. 

Sandy sped up her movements and started working her finger in and out as she traced the circles. Within seconds SpongeBob became a mess. Drool was pooling on the floor, while a string of incoherent gibberish flowed from his mouth only interrupted by moans. 

SpongeBob then began to vibrate. His little body shaking and twitching. Sandy wasn’t really sure what this meant, but she guessed he was closing in on his orgasm so she sped up, going as fast as she dared too. 

“I feel like I’m going to explode,” SpongeBob squeaked. “What’s happening?”

“You’re going to come,” Sandy replied and reached for the sample cup. “Just let it happen.”

Seconds later SpongeBob screamed as his whole body went rigid, then began spasming. Sandy felt his oscula clamp down around her finger and try to suck inwards, before being hit with a blast of sticky fluid. She quickly grabbed the cup and placed it near the opening and removed her finger. 

A steady stream of SpongeBob’s semen flowed out of him and trickled down into the cup. Sandy didn’t know what to do so started rubbing SpongeBob’s back as the cup began to fill. In doing this she inadvertently hit another sensitive pore causing SpongeBob to buck wildly and release more milky fluid into the cup. 

After his semen quit flowing, SpongeBob collapsed onto the floor. He was breathing hard and not really moving except for some small twitches in his legs. Sandy wondered if she should say something or just let him enjoy the post-orgasmic bliss. She figured the sponge deserved to lay there in a state of ecstasy for a few moments and got up to put some of the sample into the analyzer.

As she was fiddling at the workbench, SpongeBob stood up and walked over to her on unsteady legs. 

“How are you feeling?” Sandy set the stuff down and turned to her friend. 

“That was incredible,” SpongeBob’s voice was slightly hoarse from screaming. “Why have I never done that before?”

“No idea,” Sandy smiled. “But at least you know what y’all are capable of now and how good it feels.”

“Thank you for helping me,” SpongeBob gave Sandy a hug.   
“No thank you for helping me,” Sandy returned the hug. “You’re really going to help my research.” 

“I should let you work,” SpongeBob turned to pick up his clothes. 

“Before you go,” Sandy blushed. “Y’all know how I said this was a one time thing? Maybe we could make an exception and do it again...you know for science?”

“I’d like that,” SpongeBob tried not to scream in excitement. 

“Maybe you can...uhhh….return the favor?” Sandy stammered. 

“If you help me,” SpongeBob replied. “I’ll do whatever you need me too.” 

“But first,” Sandy continued. “How about you buy me dinner?”

“Like a date?” SpongeBob really was on the verge of screaming. 

“Ya,” Sandy smiled. “Like a date.”

He couldn’t hold it anymore, despite his hurting throat, he screamed out with excitement.


End file.
